May 12, 2011
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while the cupcakes bake
I want to come to this place and be
A) inspirational
B) or brilliant
C) or wise
D) or clever
E) or funny
F) or insightful
F) or original
And then I ask myself why the drive to be any of the above?
Most of all, I want God-honoring to be at the Very Top of that list.
Then again, why bother writing at all? There are so many fascinating blogs out there. I almost hate to discover new ones because I just don’t have time to read them all.
So my love/hate saga with Facebook and blogging wars on.
I hate the competition of it. Not that I aspire to be great. But there’s an underlying feeling that I can’t put my finger on when I read around and then try to write. Jealousy seems too strong a term. Comparison is more like it.
But still….
I like to come here. Oh I like it a lot. Said the Cat in the Hat to the Fish in the Pot.
So while I bake cupcakes I will write for 15 minutes.
I thought of tributes last Mother’s Day weekend. To my mom–a strong lady whose values are rooted deep in my heart. We are so different in our personalities and how we handle life. But I love her.
And to my mother-in-law, whose tongue is governed by the law of kindness.
And these moments that make my mommy heart happy.
I also thought of posts about how this little fellow
(first day of school. Carmelita, Belize)
is now a young man who goes with his friend Michael and Michael’s dad to places called Bull Moose to snowmobile in April when there’s still lots of snow in the mountains.
Or how this little baby
is now a magical almost 2 year old with sweet curls. And she won’t stay in her bed.
But nothing comes together and there is no time to write and instead I clean away spring mud with a passion. Because it has actually dried up around here and I am starting to remember again why we live in Bay Tree, Alberta. Especially on a golden evening when the sun sets at 9:45.
Other randomness:
After a 5 year wait for a baby from China, my sister Alta and her husband Dennis and their little girl Rebecca from Saskatchewan are looking forward to going to China to meet a little fellow named Xintan as early as June and bring him home. Getting a boy from China is almost unheard of, they say. Dennis & Alta said they’d take either a boy or a girl, but just assumed they would be getting a girl. Now they are scrambling to come up with a Canadian name for him (they’ll use his Chinese name as a middle name) and toddler-proof their house. This is really fun and exciting news for the Peachey family. Because we love children. And who doesn’t want a little son/brother/nephew/grandson who is “Irish Canadian Chinese Mennonite”–in the words of Dennis?
Andre was singing “Like a cow without horns” in place of “Like a bird without wings” the other day.
I bought Dorcas Smucker’s three books the other day on Amazon, along with Ann Voskamp’s 1000 Gifts, which has the Christian lady’s blogging world abuzz with admiration. I have this slightly rebellious side to my nature that makes me think I won’t like a book or person or restaurant for the simple fact that Everyone Else does. So I feel a little that way about the lovely Ann. But if gratitude can change my negative outlook and help me to be a joyful mother of 6 I am ready to listen. I even started a thankful list already. It’s a good thing and I look forward to reading the book.
Dan & I have planted garden together for 14 springs now. (Minus our years in Belize, when he planted a few watermelons and pineapples instead of peas and corn.) Last night we were out there at 10 p.m. putting in the last pea seeds before dark, he making the rows and covering them, me putting in the little dried peas covered with black innoculant. There is something intensely appealing about a man with a hoe who’s humming under his breath.
The restless Peachey (or is it Baer?) side of my nature is always seeking, groping,searching for something beyond. I dream of a place where we can be more useful or fulfilled (or noticed *cough. ugh*.) Surely we should be working with inner-city kids or singing in prisons or heading to Ethiopia.
I hope God leads us to one or all of the above. Or to something else totally far out and beyond our comfort zone. We want to be ready and listening.
But as surely as He led us back here to Bay Tree from Belize He is here. Right here. Caring. Guiding. Noticing. Blessing.
He’s where you are today too. Your life is not in vain.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
I don’t know what an inheritance from the Lord looks like, but He’s rich. That much I know.
Comments (18)
I love how you write. I love that it’s not a 15 min read that is so deep I need to stop reading to comprehend it all! I love to read posts like yours as much as I do one of those grand and excellent written ones. Well, maybe I like yours better because you let your everyday life shine through and I’m not left wondering if you are a wonder woman! Keep writing. You have your list down pat! You are all of the above! Bake cupcakes more often so you can write more often!
And may I echo Shannon ?“I love that it’s not a 15 min read that is so
You are more interesting then your know..K?! 
deep I need to stop reading to comprehend it all!” Your forward honesty is refreshing and I honestly don’t remember once where I read your xanga and didn’t smile and nod in agreement.
Ahh, yes… having hubby enjoying being outside with me and doing things together does indeed make him “intensely appealing”! (do they know that? hmmm… maybe we should tell them!!!
)
I think you write because you need to. That’s the true artist’s curse. Also because you are a great observer of life – of the little things that matter. And because you’re courageous (all good writers are courageous) about sharing the things you feel – things we all feel, but can’t put into more gooder words like you.
Thanks for finding the time.
Well! You can sure say a lot while the cupcakes bake! How exciting to be anticipating a new niece or nephew and sharing in your sibling’s joy!
I waffled over buying Ann’s book as well – I am alternately blessed and lost in her writing. But it’s sitting at the post office waiting for my next trip to town. Wanna start a book club?
Thanks for sharing tidbits of you life… I enjoyed it!!!
About that book? I found it at the library and started reading it and it was good. But in this mommy stage of life, I couldn’t finish it. Someday I want to try again.
Fun post, Luci.
I liked all the pictures and how the dad is WAY bigger than everyone else in the “Bear Family” drawing. I liked your little planting-with-husband paragraph… trade the garden for the kitchen and the hoe for a knife and you’ve got what’s intensely appealing to me. I’ve gotta get that 1000 Gifts book… been seeing stuff about it all over the place and every time, I think “I’ve gotta get that book” and then I forget about it again… until I see it mentioned again. Oh, that was hilarious what Dennis calls the little guy! 
And another thing, with your writing talents, comparing self among other bloggers would be egotistical for me if I were you.
I love your writing, too, whatever style it is. And I too, find myself nodding in agreement. I haven’t posted a lot lately because who needs to/wants to hear the thoughts that are swarming in my head? I always thought I was a writer, than I had children, and somehow lost my ability, or was it my ability to focus and express myself? Anyway, I love when you post. And I’m with you on the book…but I think I’ll cave and get it someday…when I have some extra $$$ lying around. (That doesn’t happen often.;) )
ohhh Luci, so many things resonated with me in this post. thank you for writing it. Through my time on xanga (i believe its been 7 years) it seems that everyone goes through many times of reflecting upon what their blogs exist for and what they want to be used of God in doing on these blogs. thank you for sharing your journey and your feelings on what you want your blog to be used of God for!!
i was listening to a song today by the group Downhere (some good Christian Canadian boys) and their song is called ‘Here I am’ there were a couple parts that really stood out to me…especially the part that life doesn’t always look like we plan, but he’s still in control.
Hee hee, I’ve been rebellious against 1000 Gifts book too, haven’t read it yet, but I know that I will eventually break down and read it. I echo whats been said, you have a gift, and what’s special it sees like there is a real person at the other end of the pen, and not a mythological creature.
Right now I’m struggling a lot with that feeling about other blogs. Not really jealousy–but some sort of discontent. There are a few bloggers that have good things to say, but for some reason I can’t quite connect to their message. When their posts get tons of comments and affirmations, it sends me into this place where I’m sure if I pour my heart out on paper, NOBODY will connect to it, because it not spiritual enough, not deep enough, or maybe makes me look ridiculous and not AWESOME! like those other people.
Ok, that’s enought for now! Keep writing.
I looked at your mom (the picture) and I really wondered if she was a Baer?! Do you know Judith Poole? I love when you blog. you are so real and identifyible … or maybe the word is relatable?!!!! Either way I love your blog!
@madisonsmom2 - @ihavesix @the_Kings_Princess - - Thank you Shannon and Amy and Rhoda. After I wrote this post I was hoping I didn’t sound like I was fishing for affirmation from my readers. (ugh) It’s the truth of how I feel about blogging, but with all the self doubt i keep coming back. Because of people like you.
@dennisbreen - Those words from a true artist mean a lot. Thanks.
@Angela Fehr - ahem. I finished this post at 12:30 a.m. and the cupcakes were long ago burned to a crisp. Book club sounds fabulous. But aren’t you too busy cutting and pasting and painting? You said it well “alternately blessed and lost” in Ann Voskamp’s writing. I identify.
@lwstutz - I hear you.
@mytoesareblue - I just read your post and the words to your song.:) I will take the time to listen to it someday too.
@writersblock02 - Ok, you nailed it. ‘Discontent’ is the word I wanted over jealousy. Your little paragraph about blogging totally resonated with me. I especially worry over the spiritual aspect because I’m a pastor’s wife(!) and feel like I should be pouring out words of wisdom. But I just don’t feel wise. And when I write about spiritual stuff it feels all stilted and CLP Sunday school paper-ish.
I wish you would write more often. Though I must say brainy-ness and humor on your site intimidates me a little.
@The_Carpers - Yes, Judith is my first cousin. Our moms are sisters. I like when you visit here and comment. And I like to visit you.
@amyjane30 - I have this feeling 1000 Gifts is a pretty deep read and I can imagine not totally getting through it either. I have concentration issues with books right now too. My habit is to cream them for the best stuff and then think I’ll come back and read them properly later but it doesn’t happen.
@seasoned_to_taste - Oh. I like Dan in the kitchen too. Gotcha there. 
Thanks for stopping here. You made me shy with your last silly sentence. But thanks.
What a good description of your MIL – her mouth governed by the law of kindness. so true.
To anyone who is reading these comments: I did not mean to be offensive in my comment about CLP Sunday school papers. There are fine people who put those papers together and I apologize.
I realize that I am WAY behind the times with getting around to commenting. Life has been a little crazy lately.
But, just so you know, I scrolled the whole way back, and back, and back, until I got back to your post because I didn’t want to miss it.
Insecurity sucks! That’s all I have to say. And I have seemed to be struggling with it more than my share in the online world the last while.
Maybe we just need to accept and realize that we all have different talents and writing skills and gifts and use THOSE instead of comparing and being discontent. Cuz that is what happens to me too!
I am glad you bought “One Thousand Gifts.” I really think you will love it. And you can totally pick it up and read a little and then put it back down, which is great for a busy Mom!
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