April 27, 2012
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Here again.
I know. That blogging fast was extremely short-lived.
I read a bunch of my old posts on xanga last night and was appalled at how often the subject of my reasons for blogging and my doubt at why I do and guilt for the time it takes and the what-is-my-purpose thing comes up. How DO you guys put up with me?
I guess it is the battle between the lady I long to be and the woman I am. Between the honest lady who writes exactly what she’s thinking at the moment on a rainy day and the wise one who takes time to think and pray and polish before she says or does things or writes things. Between the person who uses discipline and knows when to turn off the computer to tend to the real needs of life (like children, and rest, and God) and the one who reads too far and too much and obsesses over the bad news and compares herself to all the good things in others and gets herself into a hole of weariness.
But please let me make a commitment now to blog when I have something to say and be quiet when I don’t. And let me be still about the questioning and comparing and everything else. Hold me to it.
There are 20 pairs of jeans in the wash today. Days of rain and being a little behind on the laundry makes that happen fast. It is at this time of year that I am ready to pack up the family and move to the heart of the city. The mud is beyond description.
A house FULL of toys at her disposal, she is beyond delighted when I make her these babies in a basket with the hankies Grandma Martin buys from those Mennonite stores in Indiana. She rocks and sings to them.
There could be some ugly photos of swollen little heels and pimply hands to show you what’s going on at our house. But who likes pictures of ugly stuff? I will be wildly happy when everyone is better again.
One of the things I’ll miss most about my children growing up is hearing mispronounced words. One of the little guys I’m babysitting today says “bringtending” for pretending and “kickup” for pickup. A little sprinkling of children went out to play in the mud this morning. Funny little urchins with muddy spring jackets, dirty mittens, splash pants, and the signature gumboots of Alberta. Aptly named for the mud here.
I am thankful today for an automatic washer.
Cute calves coming every day.
Dan.Tylenol.
New little broccoli plants.
Sunshine.
New starts.
Friends.
Good books. (currently reading Slaying the Giant. It’s good.)
Hope of green grass, picnics, and petunias.
The God who loves me as I am, but far too much to let me stay that way.
Weekends.
Being jolted out of my small and skewed look at life when I read the news, think of others with bigger needs, or suddenly look around and see my thousands of gifts.
And only about 21 more days of lunches to pack. Yee-haw!
Happy Friday! Lentil soup is on the menu for this evening. I love to make it, the children and Dan love it, and best of all, it’s very healthy.
Comments (11)
i had big plans in my brain to sit down and write this afternoon. posts that have sat unfinished would be completed! yay. the post in my head would be typed and published eventually as well. i have plans to do a giveaway *so excited!!! i lovelove presents!* and wanted to get that started too. but…noooooo. i checked fb…wrote a message. thought about another. clicked like on luci’s status update that took me down memory lane. i had hanky babies too. and then on xanga there were {this moment}’s to check out and then amber posted and oh! luci! too! so ha. all that to say…hmmm. what WAS my point? i think that when it comes to discipline and writing i am The Worst. is that even related? ^^^ lol.
puhleeze though. don’t think that you need to have something to say before you write.
just write. when you can. i mean… so far i’ve noticed that you have something to say…just saying, keep writing even when that might not be the case. teehee.
jacob is mispronouncing words less and less.
i should be glad after almost three years of speech therapy! but… he’s my baby. what can i say? 
so GLAD that you are “here again.” fun post. and here’s hoping that you all feel better and soon! happy friday back at ya!
I would like to hear more about making lentil soup. I haven’t ever made it and I wonder how it would go over in this house.
About blogging. I have found that I blog all for myself. I love to go back and see my life documented and where I was a year ago….with pictures and my expostulations! So for me it’s all for my own benefits…..only certain ones actually get published…but I still have them in my computer. Anyhow, if for no other reason just enjoy blogging for your own benefit! That’s what I do!
……But you do benefit others too. I enjoy your posts. You even make Alberta seem alluring!
we “put up” with you because we love you
and because you always have something to say.
please never go away.
I like the honest lady who blogs what she is thinking. =) I love children’s mispronounced words too. They are great. For that reason, sometimes I tell my older children not to correct my 5 yr old. I think it is cute and will not last forever.
I am near silent reader but I want you to know I LOVE reading your posts. There should be more honest people like you in this world. Keep writing!
cool, I understand
take a look at this <a
href=”http://www.haatube.com”>funny video first
you are wonderful…seriously. I am so thankful when you post…and the honesty of life is always refreshing being it an up or down day. i can’t even imagine the mud after all the rain and snow you’ve had…hoping the sun comes out and dries it up fast and th en instead of ‘sinking’ to China in the mud, the kids can ‘dig” to China iinstead
we once tried to do this, i’m sure my friend’s mom appreciated the HUGE hole in the yard…and thinking back i think we fashioned clay pots from the clay we ran into on our dig (probably about half a meter down…haha)
love you my dear friend. I am so thankful that you do write!
we put up w. you too because u so often SAY what all the rest of us arw thinking.
your openness is refreshing. all the questions w blogging are normal… i question and debate quitting all the time too. for me it’s totally a insecurity thing. everytime i hit submit i wonder if this will be the time everyone decides they no longer like me. ha! yes. we need to do it for God’s glory etc. but that doesn’t keep those fears from cropping up. keep on sweet luci. i’ll read what u write and u read what i do.. and even if we’re the only two readers, haha. oh well!!! is it a deal? 
i understand about not wanting the little ones to lose how they say things…emma probably needs speech therapy but i’ve put it off because of cost AND i kinda like it.
the lentil soup sounds good. i’ve never cooked w lentils before, but i saw them in the store the other day and contemplated getting them… a friend of mine makes a wonderful bean dip w them. yum yum.
have a great weekend girl!! and i know theres random words below here but i’m on my phone and cant get them off!!!:)
h a s wonderful
We just came home from my parent’s house…they got new lambs today. =)
As for the mud, yes, yes….it’s not too bad this spring though…I shouldn’t be complaining, we haven’t had much rain.
I miss those mispronounced words too….we only have two left in Sophia’s (youngest) vocabulary. My favorite is “crank” instead of cramp.
I don’t want to correct her quite yet, even though I should! We are in need of a toddler around here!!!
I like what you have to say too, just like the others. When you do post, I like coming over here. =)
Enjoy your weekend!
@down_onthefarm - You always make me laugh. Love that so much about you. But get disciplined, girl! I want to read all those unfinished posts.
Thanks for your wise (oh yes. I saw a lot of wisdom in what you said because you had something to say, you know.) and KIND words.
Not that that would ever be a problem on your site, you popular girl. But I know. Those silly worries get us all in our weak spots. Thanks so much for reading here. And commenting. And the deal sounds great to me. 
For some reason your little random words at the end cracked me up.
@amyjane30 - Hey. I’ve been missing you. I liked what you had to say and I like that you are not a people pleaser and I want to learn to be more that way. Thanks for the advice. I don’t know why I spin myself into silly circles, blab about them, and then wonder later why I did. I will post my lentil soup recipe, ok? Actually, it’s my sister in law’s. I had these old lentils around for (I think it was) years and finally one of the children was telling me how good auntie Barb’s lentil soup is. So I got her recipe and now I put ‘lentils’ on the list when they run out.
@beauty_after_rain - You are so sweet. Thanks.
@Esther_lynn - @sweetRthepromises - All I can say is thanks. I feel encouraged, you dears.
@mytoesareblue - SO funny about digging to China! Love you too.
@grace_to_be - You said it. Hitting submit and then wondering if this is the time that everyone will decide they no longer like you.
@Elizabethmarie_1 - ohh. New lambs are even cuter than new calves, aren’t they? Your family must be so amazing. After 12 kids your parents are still farming? Thanks for coming here, Liz. I like it when you do.
glad that you are laughing.
because i read what i wrote and realized that i said pretty much NOTHING. what i wanted to say really is what the other girls wrote about why they love you. so i’ll just say ditto. and me too. that’s why we/i love you.
happy tuesday!