May 7, 2012

• The Real Me

  From goodreads when I googled Quotes About Being Yourself:

  “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
  ―Oscar Wilde

  “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
  ―Bernard M. Baruch

  “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
  ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

  “About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.”
  -Rita Mae Brown“

  “…be yourself- not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.”
  ― Henry David Thoreau

  “Never be bullied into silence.  Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”
  ―Harvey Fierstein

  “Don’t you ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can’t be exactly who you are.”
  ―Lady Gaga

  “Make the most of yourself….for that is all there is of you.”
  ―Ralph Waldo Emerson

  There is all of this much and so much more. 

  Some of these quotes really mess with my mind.   There’s good in a lot of them.  But frankly, I get tired of them.  Because of this:  If  people knew who the real me can be sometimes they wouldn’t be telling me to be myself.  And because if we all just lived the real us and got  rid of the negative people in our lives and surrounded ourselves with positive people who believe in us and inspire us, how would our rough edges get sanded down?  How would we grow and change? Where did denying ourselves and following Jesus go?

  Somewhere in all of this there is a balance between making a god of yourself and being content with who you are.

  There’s a balance between understanding and accepting ourselves and being constantly transformed into the image of His dear Son.

  What is the real me like?

  She likes people and new places and salads and pecan pie.  She cries easily and doesn’t laugh enough.  She thinks too much and talks too much.  She procrastinates and is easily angered.  She has a kind heart but sometimes her words are sarcastic.  She can be moody and  pessimistic.  She is overly sensitive to criticism but knows well how to give it.  She loves peace but can’t stay away from a  good argument.  She is far too governed by what she thinks others might be thinking of her. She is an oxymoron, that one. Just like you  are sometimes.

  
  If it weren’t for my age, denomination, position in the church , and some of my readers, this blog would include a slot for Mennonite fashion.  I know.  Laugh away.  (And Dan is unimpressed with my scarf fetish anyway. And yes I know this outfit is too colorless.) 

  

  

  Sometimes I really want to write things like:  I know a new bedspread would probably spice up our s*x life.  But honestly.  I don’t know if I can stand it any hotter. 
  

  Sometimes in church when the song gets long and draggy I want to stand up and clap or sway or anything to change the mood.  In my mind I rearrange things all the time to keep them new and interesting in a church service.  (But here at home I can let things get pretty blah.)

  I can get tied up in knots about some of our good-but-not-the-only-way Mennonite traditions and feel like I MUST change something or shrivel up and die.  (Okay. I don’t think that really makes sense.  But I’m leaving it alone because I don’t know how to say it differently.)

  And sometimes when there are boring (to me) conversations going all around me I have to bite my tongue so I don’t say something shocking just to change the subject.

  Those are some of the things that make up the real me.  They’re examples of things that are neither here nor there to many of you.  But if they make my mom ashamed of me or cause a stir or embarrass my wonderful but kind of traditional husband, I need to be careful where I flaunt these bits of me. 

  This week I read this verse:  “If what I eat is going to make another Christian sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live-for I don’t want to make another Christian stumble.”  Really Paul, did you  mean that??

  And how does it apply to me today?

  I don’t have the answers to this quandary.  But there are so many Biblical principles to add to the “just be yourself” attitude.  Like love and humility and  the preciousness of others.

  And I’m not sure this post has a major point.

  Just Being You is so very important.

  But it’s also highly overrated.  Because if I was just myself

  -I would sit at the computer instead of playing Frisbee with my 9 year old. 

  -I would shrug and say, “That’s just the way I’m made” when Dan tells me that I was too sarcastic with the children.

  -I would miss the good in that sermon I dismissed  as cliché and traditional.

  -I would be a strong feminist.

  -I would talk too much and listen too little.

  And you really don’t want to know the rest.

  I never want this to be my life philosophy:

  “If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your ****, then you deserve it.” ―

  Frank Zappa

  Be the amazing and unique being that God called YoU. 

  But learn of Jesus and conform to His ways to become even more beautiful.  Become gracious.  Honour others instead of yourself.

  And the real me?  Here she is on Saturday morning mixing pancakes.  Canadian pajamas from Zellers closing out sales.  They’re cute, but there’s not much of them showing.  Pink housecoat:  Walmart.  Old shirt from Salvation Army.  It needs to retire, but it’s my favorite morning bit of warmth.  It works to wear it with its elbows worn out.

  

  This photo deserves the ugliest profile prize.  Dear Dad, why did you pass your nose on to me?

  Dear God, is my hair actually that thin & gray?

  Dear morning sun, you show up all the flaws.

  And the real me?  She’s very, very messy when she cooks.  But the Spirit-guided side of her cleans up after herself.

  Not endorsing Miss Marilyn here, but I kind of like this:

  “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”

  ―Marilyn Monroe

  “Oh, never mind the fashion. When one has a style of one’s own, it is always 20 times better.”

  ―Margaret Oliphant

  “You are you. Now, isn’t that pleasant?”

  ―Dr. Seuss

  “Amid a world of noisy, shallow actors it is noble to stand aside and say, ‘I will simply be.”

  ―Henry David Thoreau

  And the simplicity of Romans 12:16 (NLT):  “Live in harmony with each other.  Don’t try to act important (just be yourself), but enjoy the company of ordinary people.  And don’t think you know it all!”    Amen. 

  　

  
  

  　

  
  

  　

  
  

  　

  
  

  　

  
  

  　

  
  

  　

  
  

  　

  • 1:02 am
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