May 22, 2013
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remembering
Bear with me. I know I write of him often. I hope it’s not in a sick, holding-on-to-the-past glorification kind of way. I write because honestly….he was someone who so deserves to be remembered.
Kevin would have been 33 years old today.
I remember when he came home from the hospital, boy number 4 in a family of 10.
My little sister Linda was 3 and I was 6. As we crowded close to watch Mom change a BOY, he let loose and peed in Linda’s face.
That was only the start of all the laughs he caused in our house.
He was blond and brown-eyed and we thought he was perfect. When he cried, Mom said that literally 6 girls ran to his crib.
He had all the ingredients to become a spoiled brat, but he never was.
He was funny and kind and friendly and artistic.
Never a person of a lot of words, he was just a good guy to have around.
The children swarmed around him because he played with them.
He made the old people starry-eyed because he listened to their stories.
He’d leave conversations that got too heavy and find the volleyball.
His faith was simple and fresh.
He’d hike the mountains and ride the trails and try out the mudholes because he loved God and nature.
He worked hard, played hard, laughed hard, and loved a lot.
Five years after his death, the hole he left is fuzzier at the edges, the ache not so sharp.
But time seems to carve it deeper.
I’d give a lot to sing Clementine with him and Linda again in 3 part harmony.
Or feed him supper in his dirty work clothes.
But it is not to be.
So on this day
I remember.
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Today was rainy, a soft rain so wonderful for new little seeds.
We are sad here about Oklahoma–so far removed from us, yet so easy to imagine the devastation.
After supper I forced the children to sit down in the livingroom and read quietly for half an hour. Most of them were actually game. There was only minor eye rolling and minimal grumpy sighing.
We all chose a book, the two littlest had great stacks to look at. It was cozy and quiet and I wanted to giggle a few times for some reason. I’m reading Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes. It’s about a couple who bought a huge old house in Italy and restored it. It’s a slow, delectable book, full of great foods and wines and quiet conversations. I love it for the hot sunshine and the growing things and the subtle history in it. It’s not the kind of book I’d normally go for, but give me the $$$$ and I’d be packing off to Italy.
Tonight I read this in it: “Where you are are is who you are. The further inside you the place moves, the more your identity is intertwined with it.” And I thought about living here in the North and how it makes me who I am.
While we read I thought about making my children journal regularly. I think that’s such a good and wise and cool idea. Half of my children would NOT be impressed. And would it fall beside the way like so many of the stabs I make at helping this family become well rounded?
For old time’s sake, I made a quick batch of scotch squares before bedtime. We loved these things growing up.
Melt together on stove:
1 c. margarine
1 c. brown sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
Remove from heat and add:
2 cups oatmeal
1 cup flour
1 1/2 tsp. soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 c. nuts (optional)
Bake at 350 till golden brown. I used a little bigger than 8 x 8 pan and they turned out well, but I think a 9 x13 would be okay too.
Our Liesl-bit turns 4 tomorrow. I can’t believe it.
Love to you, friends.
Comments (13)
tears in my eyes. thinking of you, sweet friend.
I didn’t know him but I wish I did. I feel like I know a little piece of him now. Prayers of comfort for you today.
It’s so good for you to remember your brother. Don’t ever apologize. I don’t remember how he died.?
We have bookworms here too, so it’s not a punishment to make them read/look at books. And Mom loves the QUIET!:)
aching with you, Luci.
i never gave it a thought that Leisl is just a little older than Lauren would be. (she’d be 4 this summer) Maybe that’s why I find her so adorable and think she’d be so much fun to have around!
kevin in one of my favorite topics that you write about. i love hearing extraordinary people described, and the love that still pulses through each word just “gets me.”
Sad
what you wrote about kevin had me gulping back tears.
never stop sharing about him and celebrating his life~ any one of us that lost one so dear would do the same!
hugs luci.
@richlyblest - aww!! That’s special to me, somehow. You are someone who has lost so many people who are dear to you, Audrey. I wish you hope and peace as you come to terms with those losses.
It seems like grieving takes such different trails for different people.
@lwstutz - He had a brain tumor that he battled for years. The hardest part of his death was watching the last months as he wasted away. Those are the memories I want to erase. The rest of them are just GOOD.
Thanks for sharing about Kevin. He sounds like a wonderful brother. It is just fine that you blogged about him.
Hey I want to borrow that book from you when your done. I’ve looked at it many times online but never bought it.. I dream too of going to Italy one day.
So many good memories of Kevin. I’m glad you have them and share them. Kevin was a great guy !!
you honor him and his CREATOR everytime you write about kevin. I love it.
it’s a great birthday present.
Just read your “remembering”. My friend’s 1 year old baby died in May and our community is still reeling in shock – we need prayers from Christians everywhere. When you say the ache is not so sharp, I grab onto that hope for our friends. Loving your blog (and so relating to your frustrations of northern alberta mud, cold, etc. etc.!)